In 2018, our very own Bishop Olmsted wrote a letter to his flock called, Complete my Joy: An Apostolic Exhortation to the Husbands and Wives, Mothers and Fathers of the Diocese of Phoenix. He wanted to highlight the unique role the family unit has in God’s redemptive plan and to offer us encouragement in our family vocations. Due to the nature of family life, which is rooted in love and communal life, he posited that, “Family is likely where we will feel the deepest joys as well as the deepest pain.” (#2). Whatever ups and downs we experience in our family life, they can all be used for our ultimate good and contribute to our own personal healing and the mission of our family in the world overall.

This week’s topic can be, at times, a touchy subject for people on both sides of the equation, however, please bear with me to the conclusion so that we all might gain a little perspective. Children, particularly infants and toddlers, can often be disruptive at Mass by nature of their youth. With five children myself, I have had many experiences over the years with everything from people asking me not to bring my little ones to Mass, to people encouraging me along, and even complete strangers offering to hold my babies to give me a hand.

On our wedding day, when we stand in front of our family and friends, our beloved, and our God, we have absolutely no idea what we’re saying “I do” to. As the years go by, just about anything could happen: illness (physical, spiritual, mental), alcoholism, gambling or pornography addiction, loss of a job or a dramatic change in a financial situation, post-partum or other depression, infidelity, communication issues, illness or loss of a child, a debilitating accident, stress or loneliness, disagreements on how to raise the children, etc., etc.

The Church has designated the family as the Ecclesia domestica, or the domestic church (CCC #1656). It is within the family structure that children learn about and absorb particular philosophies, values, virtues, vices, and conduct. In other words, if you want the children in your family to obtain eternal life in heaven, you must instruct them how to achieve that through intentional words and actions. While the mother and father of a child ought to be the primary educators of the Faith for their children, the Catechism is quick to point out that all members of the family participate in the education of the children “by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity” (CCC #1657). This means, that if you have grandchildren or nieces and nephews, you also have the responsibility of providing a sound Christian example for them to emulate.

A couple of days after Christmas we celebrated the Feast of the Holy Family - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph - the fact that Jesus was born into a family. Today we usher in the new year celebrating Mary, the Mother of God, making it a good time to discuss exactly why God created the institution of the family and what is intended in family life. We can go first to the Catechism and dive right into what the Church teaches about the purpose of the family.

As we age, time seems to pass more quickly. Years seemingly fly by as one holiday flows into the next, January quickly becomes December and life maintains its hectic pace. What do we accomplish in all of that busyness? Perhaps technology is responsible for some of the frenzy, keeping us isolated in our social media worlds, communicating through texts rather than in person, and always connected to world events.

An entire town is wiped out by fire, a tornado rips through several neighborhoods, a bomb claims a maternity hospital and a sudden heart attack takes the life of a soul mate. Life is unpredictable and dramatic. Many buy into the sad illusion that the securities and familiarities we see around us today will remain forever: our homes, our friends, our spouses, our churches, and even our health. We are stunned and shaken by a sudden change, finding ourselves bewildered, mortified, and even embittered. We do not like change, especially change driven by sources beyond our control.

Life can leave us feeling dark and desolate. Sandy was just twenty-eight when her husband, Rob, died, leaving her to raise their two young children. She was without paid employment. Rob went to work one morning and never returned home. Sandy, though, had faith and trusted that somehow God would help her through, even though most days brought deafening, piercing loneliness. She persevered, and the darkness gave way to light. Remarking one day to a friend hesitant to commit to a relationship, Sandy shared her wisdom.

For six years I lived with a priest from Iraq. His hospitality was amazing. Every single morning, he would greet me with gracious words and a friendly tone. “Father, good morning! It’s good to see you, my friend!” He never stopped doing it, even though we lived in the same house for years. It was remarkable, and I never forgot it.