Register   |  Login
St. Gabriel the Archangel
32648 N. Cave Creek Rd.
Cave Creek, AZ 85331
480-595-0883 - Office
480-595-0886 - Fax
You are here >   Our Parish > From the Pastor

Who created the weeds? In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme Donuts. Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" The man said, "O Yes!" and the woman said, “as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." They gained 10 pounds. Satan smiled.

God created the healthful yogurt that the woman might keep the figure that the man found so fair. Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. The woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. The man and the woman unfastened their belts following the sumptuous repast.

Then God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter. The man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food." God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. Satan gave satellite TV with a remote control so the man would not have to toil changing the channels. The man and the woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained more pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. The man gained even more pounds. God then gave lean beef so that the man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then he asked, "You want fries with that?" The man replied, "Yes! …and super size them!" Satan said, "It is good." The man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.